Johnson still making news for wrong reasons

Johnson still making news for wrong reasons
Chad Johnson has always liked to talk. But Alex Marvez says his mouth wasn't the only thing that got him noticed at the Pro Bowl.

Eagles throw franchise tag on L.J. Smith
Tight end L.J. Smith, who was scheduled to become a free agent at the end of the month, was given the franchise tag by the Philadelphia Eagles on Thursday. The deal was first reported by FOXSports.com's Jay Glazer, who reported that Smith will earn $4.522 million on a one-year deal.

Feds: Angry restaurateur planned Super Bowl gunfire
A restaurateur angry at being denied a liquor license threatened to shoot people at the Super Bowl and drove to within sight of the stadium with a rifle and 200 rounds of ammunition before changing his mind, federal authorities said. Kurt William Havelock said in a manifesto mailed Sunday to media outlets that he would "shed the blood of the innocent," according to court documents.

Hill signs with 49ers, will battle Smith for starting job

Hill signs with 49ers, will battle Smith for starting job
The showdown has been set: It will be Alex Smith against Shaun Hill in a heated competition to be the 49ers' starting quarterback the San Francisco Chronicle reported.

Hill has set up the duel by agreeing to a three-year contract for $6 million, including a signing bonus of about $2 million and playing-time incentives that could push the total to $11.5 million, according to a source familiar with the deal.

Not bad for a man who didn't throw the first pass of his six-year NFL career until Dec. 9. That's when the former third-stringer made his 49ers' debut in the second half of the game against the Vikings after Trent Dilfer sustained a concussion. Hill completed 22 of 27 passes, and his 81.5 percentage broke a 39-year-old record for an NFL quarterback making his first pass attempt.

Chargers, Neal to part ways?

After the AFC squad worked out here this morning, Lorenzo Neal walked off the practice field carrying his white helmet with the gold lightning bolts according to the San Diego Union-Tribune.

This week at the Pro Bowl could well be the last time Neal wears the San Diego Chargers colors, and he knows it. The 15-year veteran plans on speaking with coach Norv Turner next week about his future with the team.

Neal is careful not to make it appear he is demanding assurances or trying to make it all about him. But the four-time Pro Bowl fullback does not want to be a role player.

Willie Andrews wants to be just like Nate Newton when he grows up

Willie Andrews wants to be just like Nate Newton when he grows up
Surely, the Super Bowl loss to the Giants was a devastating thing for the New England Patriots, but I didn't think it was the kind of thing that could send someone's life spiraling out of control. At least not in 48 hours.

But little-used Patriots cornerback Willie Andrews has already (allegedly) turned to a life of crime and drugs. Police arrested him just a day after the Patriots returned him from Arizona and said they found him with a half-a-pound of marijuana.

Now, for those of you who aren't entirely familiar with marijuana and how it's smoked, a half-a-pound is not an amount of weed that you carry around for recreational smoking purposes. If Ricky Williams hosted a party where he, Randy Moss, Jerramy Stevens, and Michael Vick all sat around and watched Planet Earth on the Discovery Channel, they wouldn't go through a half-a-pound.

No, a half-a-pound is an amount that you intend to sell ... especially when police find $6,800 in cash on you, with no bong, pipe, or any other smoking implement. Oddly, Willie Andrews best defense in this situation seems to be, "Yeah, your honor, I eat a lot of weed."

It's a far cry from Nate Newton's 213 pounds, but Andrews is just a 2nd-year player and a 7th-round draft pick. Give him time.

• Patriots' Andrews charged with marijuana possession / Yahoo! Sports

Blog: Top 10 playoff disappointments
Randy Moss has been on a few great teams in his career. But blogger StreetCred says they're two of the top squads not to win it all.

The different ways in which you can celebrate a Super Bowl win
Method #1: Show up to a parade and fight with another Giants fan. Because there's no better place to fight than a parade.



Method #2: Hot, intense, prolonged, intimate man-on-man contact.



Okay, everybody back in the pile!

• I so did NOT see this coming / on 205th
• Giant Fans Are Happy, Gay / Kissing Suzy Kolber

Pats will have a tough time forgetting Super Bowl XLII
Mike Vrabel may be in Hawaii for the Pro Bowl, but Alex Marvez says the linebacker is one of many Pats still looking back.

Should we change the playoff structure?
A small bit of news about the possibility of shaking up the NFL playoffs was buried, somewhat ironically, by the awesomeness of the playoffs themselves. To me, that suggests that the playoffs don't need changed, but what the hell, I'm open to new ideas.

Roger Goodell wants to make it so that in the first round of the playoffs, division winners wouldn't automatically have a home game. If they played a wildcard team that had a better record, the wild card team would get the game in their own crib.

The idea is that it gives teams more incentive to play hard throughout the end of the regular season, so we don't end up seeing something like a Charlie Batch vs. Jim Sorgi matchup in Week 17.

For example, this year, the Bucs couldn't have sat on their hands in weeks 16 and 17, knowing they had their division sewn up. If they wanted to play a home game in the first round, they'd have had to take the field in Week 17 with a line-up a with a little more firepower than was brought to the table by Luke McCown, Michael Bennett, and Chad Lucas.

I'm not opposed to this idea, necessarily. It makes perfect sense, and a team with a better record probably deserves a home game.

However, if it was put to a vote, I'd vote no, and here's why: If there's a coach out there who saw the Colts and Bucs tank the end of this season, and saw the Giants put forth a gargantuan effort with nothing to play for in Week 17, and then saw what happened in the playoffs, and that coach is still dumb enough to be letting his players collect rust over the last two weeks of the season, then I'm opposed to the league stepping in and saving this coach from his own idiocy.

If this year's postseason didn't hammer home the "tanking is bad" message for a coach, then he deserves a savage beatdown in the playoffs next year.

• Roger Goodell Considering Changing NFL Playoff Seeding Structure / Larry Brown Sports
• Commiss Considers Playoff Shakeup / NY Post

Goodell would pursue Spygate info ... if it exists
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is willing to pursue any believable information in the Spygate case. He simply doesn't know if any exists. Goodell said Wednesday that the league has been in touch with representatives of former Patriots assistant coach Matt Walsh, now a golf pro in Maui.

Grimsley killed in apparent gun cleaning accident
Former Houston Oilers linebacker John Grimsley was found fatally shot in his suburban Houston home Wednesday, the apparent victim of a gun cleaning accident, an official said. Fort Bend County Justice of the Peace Joel Clouser said that when Grimsley's wife, who was out of town, was not able to reach her husband Wednesday, she had a neighbor check on him. The neighbor found Grimsley's body on the floor in the dining area. "It appears it may have been an accident," Clouser said.

Seattle has a coach for '09 before the Redskins have one for '08
Florida State decides to name a successor to Bobby Bowden before Bowden actually leaves, and now everyone wants to do it. The football world is a world of copycats.

Jim Mora Jr. will take over for the Seattle Seahawks after the '08/'09 season, which will be Mike Holmgren's last. Mora, of course, used to be the head coach with the Atlanta Falcons, but they fired him over the '06 season because that's not an organization that needed any stability, continuity, or anything like that. Mora's also recently been linked to the open Redskins job, but for some reason, it looks like he'd prefer to stay in a stable situation with a sane owner.

I don't know if a move like this skirts the Rooney Rule, which requires that all teams interview a minority candidate for open head coaching positions (though I suppose someone in a position of authority will have questions about that when the time comes), but I at least like the ideology behind it. If you've got a good candidate in-house, lock him up and make it a smooth transition. That way, you don't end up looking like, oh, I don't know ... these people.

• Report: Jim Mora to be officially named Mike Holmgren's successor with Seahawks / Yahoo! Sports
• Mike Holmgren's coming back, Shaun Alexander might not / Shutdown Corner
• Redskins' Coaching Decision Coming Soon / Redskins.com

Deep Posts: We can still admire the Patriots in our own way
• Maxim would like to introduce you to the New England Patriots cheerleaders, their hopes, their dreams, and their jubblies. [Maxim]

• Inside the HBO is no more. If I told you I was going to miss it, I'd be fibbing. [Sports by Brooks]

• As it turns out, the Rooney Rule won't apply to teams who have a Mora/Holmgren like agreement. That's great news for NFL owners who don't like people with dark skin. [Seattle Seahawks]

• Does Doug Flutie know something about Spygate? Cough it up, LeBatard. [The Big Lead]

• Courtesy of Stephanie Stradley, Kailee Wong takes you through the ins and outs of zone blocking. This is cool stuff. [FanHouse]

Glazer talks Spygate
Bill Belichick's problems might just be getting started. Jay Glazer says if the latest spying allegations are true, the coach will pay.

Patriots continue to show lack of class

Both Tom Brady and Randy Moss have decided to pull out of the upcoming Pro Bowl in Honolulu. This comes after the entire Patriots offense led by mister classless himself (Bill) decided to head to the locker room before the end of Super Bowl XLII.

Hide your shame.

Greatest Upset in History : Giants beat Patriots

Here is how it went down.

The NFL needs a Mitchell Report

The NFL needs a Mitchell Report
If you like sportswriters screaming at each other, Monday's shaping up to be a very, very, big day for you. It could be the biggest and most important day in the history of sportswriters screaming at each other.

It's setting up as the perfect storm for sportswriter screaming. It's the most high profile event in sports, and the subject at hand is an unfair competitive advantage, which makes everyone go ape-excrement crazy. If the Patriots win, you might see Jay Mariotti have an aneurysm live on Around the Horn (which could be a ratings bonanza).

Just hours before the Super Bowl, we've got new allegations of Patriot cheating, including an unnamed source close to the Patriots who says the Pats filmed a Rams walkthrough before Super Bowl XXXVI, and a former Patriots video assistant who hints that he has further damning evidence of devious Patriot videotaping activities. And then you've got Senator Arlen Specter, standing there and trying to hold a huge spotlight over the whole thing.

So if the Patriots win, talks of asterisks and tainted victories is going to get very, very loud.

I hate this. If someone has evidence, obviously, I want them to come forward with it, but the current state of uncertainty is maddening. If they did it, let's dig until we can prove it. If they didn't, let's prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they're innocent. Anything in-between (and that includes Roger Goodell's Officer Barbrady "Move along, there's nothing to see here!" routine) is as aggravating as gobs of sand in the man-thong.

Assuming a Patriots victory, it's going to keep alive the loathsome recent trend of post-championship complaining by whoever didn't win. The Heat beat the Mavericks in the NBA Finals, and it's because Dwyane Wade got countless phantom calls. The Steelers beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl, and it's because the referees handed the game to them. The Spurs win the NBA Finals, and it's because the Suns were screwed over with a bad call in the Western Conference Championship.

I'd just like a champion to be crowned, and for everyone to say, "Alright, they're the best. They earned it."

If the Patriots win today, there's absolutely zero chance of that happening.

And since Roger Goodell doesn't appear to have any interest in doing anything about it himself, it's time to take a page out of the Bud Selig playbook and hire an independent investigator to find out exactly what happened, when it started, and how the Patriots might have benefited from it.

To do anything other than that is unfair, both to the Patriots and the general public. If the Pats have done things legitimately, they don't deserve this scorn and uncertainty from NFL fans. And if they haven't, then people need to know about that, too, including the general football-watching public, the 01/02 Rams, the 03/04 Panthers, and the 04/05 Eagles.

The investigation already has its McNamee/Radomski in Matt Walsh, the former Patriots video assistant who says he's got the goods (and Walsh is obviously willing to talk; if he wasn't, we'd have never heard his name). Now it just needs a George Mitchell to squeeze him for information.

9 arrested on suspicion of selling forged tickets
Nine people were arrested in Scottsdale on suspicion of selling forged Super Bowl tickets for thousands of dollars. The investigation into the forged tickets began when a Massachusetts couple reported unwittingly buying forged tickets for $2,500 from a man on a Scottsdale street Saturday, Sgt. Mark Clark said in a news release Sunday. Bicycle officers responded to the area and spotted a potential suspect. Clark said the man lied about his name and was arrested.

The extremely reluctant prediction: Giants in a squeaker
I've got a little bit of a dilemma when it comes to making a prediction for today's professional football contest.

See, back when the playoffs first started and I was writing somewhere else, I said I didn't think the Patriots were going to win it all. In my mind, they were clearly and plainly the best team in the league, but I felt like everyone soils their drawers at some point, and that it would be the Pats misfortune that they made a #2 in their pants during the playoffs.

But the problem with picking them to lose today is that I thought it would be the Colts, Chargers, or Jaguars who jumped up and stole one from them. Obviously, that didn't happen ... and I have way less faith in the Giants to do the same thing.

But I feel obligated to honor the original pick of a non-Patriots Super Bowl XLII champion. I don't actually think they're going to win, but my official pick of record has to be the Giants ... let's say 31-30.

And yes, I realize that this is a weasel-y thing to do, because no matter what happens, I can say "Yeah, I knew the Patriots would win," or "Hey, look at me, I predicted the Giants would win." But please know that I've never taken a great deal or pride in making quality predictions, or felt particularly bad about making incorrect ones, since predicting the outcome of NFL games with any kind of consistency is near impossible.

I hope everyone enjoys the game, though, and I also hope that between now and kickoff, no one comes forward with evidence that Bill Belichick has been secretly videotaping Eli Manning in the shower all week.

Stick with me here, as I should be posting a few times through the course of the contest. Enjoy, and feel free to drop your own game predictions in the comments here.

Athletic Supporter Bowl XLII: Declaring a winner ...
Athletic Supporter Bowl XLII Update: Athletic Supporter Bowl XLII was a grand disappointment.

If the Super Bowl is this disappointing, then it'll be 0-0 through 11 overtimes, at which point Roger Goodell decides to just declare a winner by having a Double Stuf Racing League Lick-Off between Tony Eason and Dave Meggett.

It was a good idea on paper, it just didn't work out that well in practice. Patriots and Giants fans were pretty scarce around town all week long ... it wasn't until yesterday that they became really visible everywhere you went.

And yesterday, I saw way more Patriots fans than Giants fans, and asked at a couple of sports merchandise shops if they were selling more Patriots gear or Giants gear, and the answer was always Patriots. So they're getting on the board with a touchdown, making it 10-6 Giants.

They missed the extra point, though, because I keep seeing people around town wearing Red Sox gear. We get it, pal ... New England is good at two sports. Put your precious Papelbon jersey in the closet for a few days, pretend like you care about the Patriots as much as you do you beloved Sox, and support the team that's actually playing this week.

And with that, I'm going to declare it final ...

Giants 10, Patriots 6.

LIVE: Giants-Pats in Super Bowl XLII
The Giants were up early, but Laurence Maroney's TD run put the Pats ahead. Can New England add to its lead before halftime? Follow Super Bowl XLII LIVE on FOX.

Phoenix Randomness...
Things I've noticed this week that didn't get a post of their own ...

• Mike Ditka smells like a french whore on Bastille Day. I was hanging out at the media center early on Thursday, and he walked by twice, and both times, it was like someone blasted a firehose of Drakkar directly up my nose. Every time I see him on ESPN now, my nose hairs begin to smoke.

• That's a giant sculpture/mirror in the convention center in downtown Phoenix. It's 90 feet tall, and is by famous sculptor (sculptress?) Louise Bourgeois. I thought it was interesting.

• If there's one thing the people of Phoenix were going to make clear this week, it's that if you drive drunk, you will be treated with all the respect given to Jeffrey Lebowski by the chief of police of Malibu. Signs are everywhere: "Drive Drunk, and Expect the Max." In this case, "the max" means pink underwear, a military tent, and working on a chain gang. In a related story, I've had a lot of club soda this week. I wouldn't drink an O'Douls while playing Gran Turismo in he jurisdiction of a sheriff that insane.

• Speaking of driving, this would be a much more effective tidbit if I had a picture, but I've instituted a strict "no taking pictures while driving" policy this week. But on the way into Phoenix, there's a giant billboard that says "SUPER BOWEL WINNER," and underneath that, "PoopDoc.com." I was hoping it would be the website for some zany local proctologist, but it's for some damn pill that's supposed to make your colon happy. This week isn't a giant celebration of football so much as it's a giant beacon of advertising opportunities.

• The area is so thoroughly saturated with the NFL that Lance Briggs and Adrian Peterson have both done appearances at local Wal-Marts. I think they should both have some questions to ask of their agents.

• I followed Adam Sandler around Radio Row for a while, listening to him do interviews with various people. He had the largest group of handlers/entourage of anyone I saw all week. And with the exceptions of Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me, he's playing himself in every movie he's ever done.

• Matt Leinart is not just the quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals, Matt Leinart is the Emperor of Arizona. He's listed on the program of nearly every single event in town this weekend, was at the media center all week long, and was always, always, meeting or about to meet someone. The people here are so emotionally invested in Matt Leinart ... if he doesn't go on to become a great quarterback, I'm not sure anyone here would even notice.

'Skins plan to interview Spagnuolo Tuesday
The Washington Redskins, entering the final stage of their coaching search, tentatively plan to interview New York Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo on Tuesday, a person familiar with the selection process said. The person, who spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the Redskins have not publicly released the names of any candidates, also said Sunday that New England Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels is no longer in the running for the job.

Report: Specter to speak with Goodell
Sen. Arlen Specter isn't satisfied with the NFL's answers about its Spygate investigation and said it's still possible the New England Patriots cheating scandal could result in Senate hearings. Specter, the top Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, Sunday reiterated comments he made Friday in which he questioned NFL commissioner Roger Goodell's investigation into the spying allegations and his decision to destroy video evidence uncovered by the league earlier this season.

Goodell touches on various topics in 'State of NFL'

Goodell touches on various topics in 'State of NFL'
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced the New Orleans Saints will host the San Diego Chargers at Wembley Stadium in London on Oct. 26, among the topics he addressed in his State of the NFL speech.

Do Giants take a shot at Tom Brady's ankle?
The quarterback's right ankle will be sitting out there in plain view, wrapped or unwrapped, a giant bull's-eye for the targeting. And if Tom Brady goes down, if Matt Cassel is suddenly standing in the pocket for the New England Patriots, then this Super Bowl on Sunday becomes a very different sort of affair the New York Daily News reported.

So what are the New York Giants to do about this famously aching extremity? Should they tackle low, tackle late? Is it worth a 15-yard penalty and a vaguely guilty conscience? Or does a sense of gallantry demand they ignore the red cape flapping in front of them?

If the Giants take their cues from the Pats, they may not feel the need to demonstrate much mercy. The Patriots did not appear to debate the matter when they smashed around the hobbled Philip Rivers in the AFC title game. Brady is not a UPS package marked fragile. He is a football player, reporting Sunday for gladiatorial duty. What comes around, goes aground.

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Report: Pats taped Rams' Super Bowl walkthrough
An unnamed source has claimed a New England Patriots employee secretly videotaped the St. Louis Rams' pre-game walkthrough the day before Super Bowl XXXVI, the Boston Herald reported.

Cleveland's Winslow will have knee surgery

Cleveland's Winslow will have knee surgery
Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow will undergo surgery on his knee this off-season, he told WKNR AM/850 from Phoenix on Friday.

A first alternate to the Pro Bowl, Winslow postponed the surgery in hopes of going to the NFL's all-star game in Honolulu next week. When Chargers tight end Antonio Gates (dislocated toe) failed to opt out of the game by Wednesday's deadline, Winslow's hopes for making it this season were dashed.

"I'm definitely going to have a surgery done on my knee," Winslow said in an interview with Mark "Munch" Bishop. "My shoulder might be strong enough . . . I'm just really worried about my knee. Your legs are your life. I need my knee."

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Coasting could be costly in the NFL
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said Friday the league is looking into ways to create incentives for teams to play hard through the end of the regular season, even if they have already secured a playoff berth according to a report in the Los Angeles Times.

"The incentive should be for every team to win as many games as possible," Goodell said in his annual state-of-the-league address. "We owe that to our fans."

The league is looking at seeding teams differently after they qualify for the playoffs, something that would increase the number of meaningful games. Goodell said there were nine games in the last two weeks of the season in which at least one of the team's postseason seeding would not be impacted.

Patriots apply for trademarks on 19-0
According to the New York Post the New England Patriots are suffering from premature exhilaration.

The arrogant New England team has already applied for trademarks on "19-0" and "19-0 The Perfect Season." Three days before they beat the San Diego Chargers, and more than two weeks before Super Bowl XLII, the team egotistically filed paperwork with the US Patent and Trademark Office to cash in on sales of T-shirts, caps, posters and all kinds of Pats paraphernalia.

The Post, ever confident that Eli Manning and company will squash the Pats on Sunday, spent $375 for its own trademark application Thursday — on "18-1."

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Plaxico's bum ankle more of an issue than Brady's
For the third consecutive day, Plaxico Burress did not participate in any real aspects of practice, an ominous sign that is sure to affect the New York Giants far more adversely than Tom Brady's slight high right ankle sprain will bother the New England Patriots on Super Bowl Sunday according to the New York Post.

Burress is the Giants big-play target and was an absolute terror in the NFC Championship game, when he savaged Packers Pro Bowl cornerback Al Harris in frigid Green Bay with 11 catches for 154 yards.

He seemed primed for a huge Super Bowl performance, stating upon arrival that his chronically sprained right ankle was "97 percent" healed.

NFL destroyed six "Spygate'' tapes
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, revealing for the first time the extent of the Patriots' illegal videotaping of opponents, said�Friday the league had seized and destroyed tapes on six games dating to the 2006 season the Boston Globe reported.

In September, Goodell fined coach Bill Belichick $500,000, the team $250,000, and took away one of New England's first-round draft picks after ruling the team illegally filmed defensive signals of New York Jets coaches in the season opener. The league also destroyed scouting notes that could have been related to the videotaping.

Although he levied record fines and penalties against the Patriots, Goodell downplayed the significance of the tapes in his Super Bowl press conference. He said one of the tapes included an opposing coach "waving at the camera, indicating they almost knew they were being taped.

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Tonight in Glendale, it's a Menage-a-Belichick

Tonight in Glendale, it's a Menage-a-Belichick
Inside Track, the tabloid garbage portion of the Boston Herald, reports that Bill Belichick's going to have to put together a dynamic sexual playbook this weekend to keep two women satisfied.

He's been seen around town this week with a blonde woman named Linda Holliday, who you might recall from last April, when she was keeping Bill's lap warm at the NCAA tournament finals. But the Inside Track people say that Sharon Shenocca, the woman who was happily married before Bill Belichick invited her inside the hoodie, is also coming to Phoenix for the Super Bowl festivities.

All I can tell you is that Bill Belichick's going to need a lot of G2 to keep both women smiling. But I don't doubt his ability to pull this off, not even for a second. Belichick is the league's best head coach, but he also might be the league's best player.

• Both Beli-chicks touch down for Bowl! / Boston Herald

Belichick after Pats' practice: 'We're ready to roll'
The New England Patriots' final practice before Sunday's big game was, well, super. "We're ready to roll," coach Bill Belichick said Friday. "We're ready as we're going to be." According to the Chicago Tribune's Dan Pompei, the designated pool reporter, the Patriots concluded their preparations for the Super Bowl against the New York Giants with a crisp 1-hour, 20-minute workout in shorts and shells at Sun Devil Stadium.

Hit List: Give us something, coaches
Trying to break these guys' defense? Not worth the effort, Kevin Hench says. Fun with the media isn't their idea of a pre-game ritual.

Umenyiora added to injury report with sore thigh
There is no guarantee New York Giants receiver Plaxico Burress will play in the Super Bowl. Ankle and knee problems caused Burress to miss his third straight practice Friday, leaving coach Tom Coughlin hoping his star receiver can continue his yearlong trend of playing every week without the benefit of working with his teammates. "He's improved," Coughlin said after the Giants finished their final practice for Sunday's NFL title game against the New England Patriots.

Are you always this nice, people of the greater Phoenix area?
I'm curious as to whether or not the people of Phoenix were implored in any way prior to Super Bowl week to be especially courteous to visitors. If so, it worked ... and when Monday morning rolls around, if you're just sick of being nice, and you want to moon me and throw rocks at me on my way out of town, I'll totally understand.

But if there was no "coaching up" that took place beforehand, then you're just an exceedingly nice group of people, and I'm in love with you. I'm not kidding. If the rest of America was as nice as you, I'd just walk around all day smiling like an idiot, handing out Jolly Ranchers, and french-kissing total strangers. You make me feel like dancing, people of Phoenix.

It's everyone I've encountered. Cab drivers, bartenders, store clerks ... even the guy at the Carl's Jr. drive-thru at 2 a.m. last night. He handed me a sandwich and smiled at me like I just saved his baby sister from a life of crack-addiction and whoring.

I'm pretty sure I could walk up to a random guy on the street, punch him in the face, and he'd pick himself up off the ground and say, "That's an awfully good punch you have there, sir! Enjoy Tempe!"

There are even people downtown who are hired to just stand around and be nice. They're called the Copper Square Ambassadors, and really, all they do is make themselves visible, give you directions, tell you about cool stuff to do, and smile at you. I love them. I'm going to stuff one of them in my bag and take him home with me, where he'll be able to provide me with valuable information about Phoenix 24/7, which I'll find comforting, even if I'm 2000 miles away.

Your hospitality makes me happy, Phoenix. Before I leave, I'm kissing each and every one of you.

You will not be this cool when you are 80
And neither will I ... but I do plan on wearing the light blue canvas belt.

I was standing in line to get my credential this morning, and I noticed a group of a few people in front of me who, well, I don't want to call them "old," but, you know ... they looked pretty damn old.

I wondered what they were doing there, because I hadn't seen anyone of that vintage around all week. I thought maybe they were the Manning grandparents, or a tour group that had gotten lost, or maybe the G2 people were just looking to bring in people I could potentially beat at fake, stupid, unfair bowling (that wasn't the case, as it turned out, but I'd have really appreciated the sentiment).

Eventually, I overheard that two of the dudes in the group had been to every single Super Bowl in history. So I chatted them up for a minute.

Don Crisman, 76, and Stan Whitaker, 82, are two of five people alive who have been to every Super Bowl as fans. Crisman was carrying around a photo collage, and one of the pictures was of the entire group of five, and he told me their names, but he sort of did it in that rambling, old man, "I'm going to talk, whether or not you're listening" way, and I don't remember them. Sorry.

They were both with their wives, one of whom had been to 28 Super Bowls, and the other who had been to 30. I'm not going to say that these women were "hot," per se ... but if I'm doing that well when I'm 80, and I'm not paying for it, I'm going to consider myself very, very lucky. They were both really sweet people, too.

I asked Don what kept him coming to Super Bowls all these years, and he told me that at this point, it was more to "keep the streak alive" than anything else, although he was particularly looking forward to this one, because he's a Patriots fan (he's the one on the left with the "if I hear one more of you damn whippersnappers call us 'cheaters'" kind of look on his face). Stan's a Broncos fan.

Don's two favorite Super Bowls were XXXVIII (he said it was because of his Patriots fandom, and they beat the Panthers that year, but I'm not discounting the possibility that Janet Jackson's nipple played a role in that, as well) and III. That was the game of the Namath guarantee, and Don was a big AFL supporter, and enjoyed shoving a big middle finger in the faces of the cocky NFL fans (okay, he didn't actually say anything about a middle finger, but that was the general sentiment).

He used to travel around the country "selling telecommunications," which, around the time of Super Bowl III, I'm guessing, meant something like "selling telephones." He was also on a NASCAR pit crew, and when he told me this, I said, "Wow, you've had a hell of a life."

He didn't really respond to that, and it wasn't until later that I realized that saying "You've had a hell of a life" is kind of like saying, "Well, old man, you've had a really nice run, but we both know it's about to end." I am sorry, Don. I've never really interviewed anyone before. I'm sure you won't die soon.

Anyway, the NFL is good enough to sit these five people together every year, and sell them tickets at face value. I don't know if they provide accommodations for them as well, but if these gentlemen wanted to stay here, I think they've earned that privilege.

Super Bowl LIVE

Super Bowl LIVE
The big game is just around the corner. Let Jason Witten, Jason Whitlock, Nate Newton and more get you ready on Super Bowl Live.