Terrell Owens and Flavor Flav, on screen together, at last

Terrell Owens and Flavor Flav, on screen together, at last

There's a television network called MyNetworkTV, and they have a show starring Flavor Flav because ... well, I don't know. And on this show, Terrell Owens is going to be a guest star, because ... again, I really don't know. Television confuses and frightens me.

From the promotional e-mail:

Flav plays Calvester Hill, an ex-convict that moves in with his wealthy, conservative brother, Winston (Kelly Perine). Calvester subsequently turns the Hill family’s life upside down, parading his old prison cronies through the house; teaching his nephew Winston Jr. (Jesse Reid) to be a gangsta rapper; and butting heads with Winston’s snooty wife, Ashley (Carrie Genzel), seventeen year-old princess Heather (Marie Michael), and housekeeper Su Ho (Emily Kuroda).

Added Flav, “It is an honor and a blessing to have Terrell ‘Touchdown’ Owens on my show, ‘Under One Roof.’ I am excited and I can't wait to complete an episode with one of my most favorite players in history. One thing special I want to say to Terrell is, ‘Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being part of my show and consider this episode one extra�touchdown�under your belt.’”

The show is called Under One Roof (they ignored my suggestion for a title, "How Many Years Can We Set Black People Back?"). It sounds fantastic if you've ever caught yourself thinking, "I wish there was a show just like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, only starring much older people." It debuts April 16th at 8:00 pm.

Terrell Owens and Flava Flav, together. This can't be good for anybody.

Patriots sign ex-Jet linebacker Hobson
The New England Patriots decided they couldn't wait until the NFL draft later this month to upgrade at inside linebacker, so they waded into the free agent pool and plucked out former New York Jet Victor Hobson, signing him to a one-year deal.

The acquisition of the 28-year-old Hobson, who spent the first five seasons of his career with New York, is less about the latest broadside in the Border War with the Jets and their coach, Eric Mangini, and more about the Patriots bolstering their linebacking corps.

The 6-foot, 252-pound Hobson was used as a strong-side outside linebacker in the Jets' 3-4 defense the last two seasons, but was really not suited for the position. He is stout against the run and has a body type more suited to 3-4 inside linebacker, which is where the Patriots plan to use him.

Ex-Cowboy Lehr under investigation by Feds
Federal authorities in North Texas are investigating a former Dallas Cowboys offensive lineman for allegedly distributing steroids and have subpoenaed a current member of the Atlanta Falcons to testify for federal grand jurors in the matter, The New York Times reported late Monday.

But the attorney for Matt Lehr, 28, who played for the Cowboys from 2001 to 2004, says his client has done nothing wrong according to the Dallas Morning News.

Mr. Lehr, who recently signed a free-agent contract with the New Orleans Saints, is being investigated for his alleged dealings with Plano personal trainer, amateur bodybuilder and admitted steroids trafficker David Jacobs. Authorities have not charged Mr. Lehr with any crimes, and the existence of a federal investigation is no guarantee of an indictment.