Thursday, February 15, 2007

What is Your Favorite NBA Fighting Style?

Since the Ron Artest irruption, I have been relatively desensitized to watching professional athletes throw down on camera. Instead of being in shock, I find myself grading their performance. With that said, here are some of the more memorable NBA fighters profiles.

Ron Artest
POS-SF Age-27 HT-6'7" WT-246
Fighting Style: Angry Fan Basher/Mad Spider Monkey

Ron sits and waits till the enemy strikes, then pounces on the victims with extreme speed and agility. Scaling any obstacles or bleachers in his way, he surprises his opponent with ruthless retaliation. Weakness- Beer in a glass.

Carmelo Anthony
POS-SF Age-22 HT-6'8" WT-230
Fighting Style: Hit and Run

Carmelo employs a style of fighting known round the world as "The Cheap Shot". This is a patient fighter, who must wait until the opponent is unaware before striking. Once he has landed his blow, he then runs away, giving the illusion of a victory. Other stategies employed by this type of fighter: talk shit then have your friends hold you back. This instilling fear into your opponent.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
POS-Retired Center and Dominator
Fighting Style: Jeet Kune Do

Kareem was a legitimate fighter as indicated by his turn in Bruce Lee classic, "Game of Death." Kareeem was a disciple of the master, studying Kung Fu with Bruce Lee himself. From Wikipedia: "His character was the last and most dangerous guardian that Bruce Lee's character had to face. In the extended footage of the final fight scenes of the film, which last about half an hour, Abdul-Jabbar and Lee fight on the highest level of a pagoda which Lee's character had to fight his way up. From Lee's viewpoint, the highest level on the pagoda is where Jeet Kune Do, represented by Abdul-Jabbar himself, is found. Through the entire fight, both men not only fight with an ease hard to obtain, but they both make it known neither of them fear death." Of course, Kareem never got into a huge fight in his NBA days on the court, but if he did he would have pwn3d.

Jermaine Oneil
POS-FC Age-28 Ht-6'8" WT-260
Fighting Style- Hit and roll

Don't let Jermaines baby face fool you, hes a stone cold killa. He's been known to wait until your down, then, just when you think the coast is clear, Smack. Better watch out, Jermaine has been known to roll with a posse. For those playing against him, you might want him and his teammates patted down before stepping onto the court. Between Oneil and Jackson, you might end up with a .45 in your chest.

Vince Carter
POS-GF Age-30 Ht-6'6" WT- 220
Fighting Style- ????

Vince also known as "Vincanity" has been an intimidating force since he entered the league. Vince is known for his force full push, bone chilling stare downs, and quick intimidating approach with his chest bowed out. To date, I can't recall a single fight where he has actually thrown a punch.

John Amaechi
POS-Gay Age-Gay Ht 6'Gay WT-Gay
Fighting Style-Gay

I would love to hear some suggestions on anyone I left out or any ammendmants that need to be made to the list.


Anonymous said...

Hi all,

The All-Star game may be over, but hundreds of fans are still lining-up to collect the first-ever NBA-licensed postage labels. As a PR representative for Pitney Bowes I have watched as fans made a fast break for these history-making labels of the players fans chose to represent their conference. The l20 different labels include all-time favorites such Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat, Tracy McGrady of the Houston Rockets and LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers , as well as logos from the East and West conferences and the event logo. Fans or memorabilia should visit to check out the four different sheets of postage featuring All-Star East or All Star West starting players. Unfortunately, this first-ever customized postage is only available on the website through February 25th - then it'll be up to the collectors to track these down. Better hustle! - Meredith

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